I learn, get hurt, accept, strive, fight, love, cry and laugh
20 min | 2025 | 16mm found footage | col | sound
This work begins with a question that someone I love asked me: “Are you living diligently?” After hearing that question, I could not get out of that thought. What does it mean to live diligently? Can a head filled with endless thoughts be called living diligently? Hearing such words from someone you love creates a very strange and ambiguous feeling. And for some reason, I keep repeating to myself the phrase that eternal happiness is endless unhappiness.
I collected about 30 German educational films, divided them into small scenes, and stitched them back together to create a new essay film. As a test before recording the narration, I had the AI read the text of the film using my voice, and the AI produced a bizarre result in which my voice became increasingly robotic. I felt a sense of inexplicable fear between this existential film and my own voice becoming robotic.
Used 16mm found footage films 1. Rettungsschwimmen, FWU or RfdU, 1936 2. Deutsche Himalaya Expedition, FWU, 1954 3. Schlüsselreize beim stillen, Heinz Sielmann-Produktion / FWU, 1963 4. Schwangerschaft und Geburts, Fritz Brunsch, FWU, 1965 5. Erste Hilfe, Film-Studio Berlin / FWU, 1968 6. Warum nicht alle Menschen auf Erden gleich sind, Bundesrepublik Deutschland, 1973 7. Ein Wochenende, FWU, 1975 8. …Behinderte…, Institut für Film und Bild Grünwald / Berliner Filmladen, 1975 9. Du lügst ja, FWU, 1978 10. Das Krebsproblem, FWU, 1978 11. Eine Geburt, HFF, 1978 12. Das Bewegungssystem des Menschen, FWU, 1979 13. Verständigung durch Zeichen, Institut für Film und Bild Grünwald, 1979 14. Pantoffeltierchen, Georg Schimanski Dokumentarfilme (Bichl), 1980 15. Tages-und Jahreszeiten, Eva Mause, FWU, 1982 16. Die ersten Lebenstage, Cinémathequè Nestlé, 1983 17. Gefahr und Flucht, Sender Freies Berlin (SFB) / Atelier für Grafik + Film, 1983 18. Glasmusik, GHK FWU, 1984 19. Ein Mensch entsteht, Huschert Realfilm GmbH / Medizin + Wissenschaft Hilden, Düsseldorf, Unknown 20. Naturgewalten bedrohen den Menschen, Unknown 21. Wirbelstürme und Gewitter, FWU, Unknown 22. Das Herz des Menschen, Unknown, Unknown 23. Das große Gleichgewicht - Kein Leben ohne Luft, FWU, Unknown 24. +7 unknown films